Lyrics of 'The Explanation' by Howards Alias

I feel sick, that was sex not relationship.
I've waited this time to find I already knew me.
I now see that I was filled with apathy
when I needed to feel like I could be what most of the other boys are.

I wished I could have brought fantasy to life,
now all I want to be is not what I wanted today.
It felt new but not as good as staying true to what to what
I now see has been hidden away, but always a part of me.

I respect all opinions; I respect all we've seen today.
I tried so hard to do this I tried so hard to change my ways.
But now I see that I can't change from how I've always been.
So this might be you but baby, it's not me.

I feel sick, that was sex not relationship.
I've waited this time to find I already knew me.
So why waste time pretending that I am fine with friendship
put on the line for something that means much less to me now?

All these times I just froze up inside meant all this time I didn't feel so free.
All these days I thought I'd change my ways and turn myself into something I'm not.
All these times I just froze up inside meant all this time I didn't feel so free.
Now I'm aware I do have love to share only in ways which feel right to me.
Can't you see all I'm saying is for me this is not right just yet, I need to feel trust.

I respect all opinions; I respect all we've seen today.
I tried so hard to do this, I tried so hard to change my ways.
But now I see that I can't change from how I've always been.
And it doesn't make a difference when I try my heart fails me.
So can you find it in yourself to accept what you see?
Because this might be you but baby, its not me.