Lyrics of 'Teachers Suck' by Tom Green

Okay! This is going out to all of my teachers from elementary school, to middle school,
all the way up to middle school and college. I wanna say thank you for the knowledge,
thank you for teaching me everything there is to know about this life, and I wrote this song
as a way of saying thanks...hahaha Check it...

I like to drink, and I like to smoke,
my teachers suck because they all a joke.
They just folks that couldn't get a job,
cause they were either too stupid or just a knob.
The shit they teach it ain't even shit, I never used algebra one bit,
I never learned a thing in class I need, huh, except maybe how to score some weed.
Or go to the dance, and get laid, never taught me how I'm gettin' paid.
If it was asshole 101 I'm making the grade I got a future so bright I gotta wear shades.
Instead they got me reading a map. Sweden? Where the fuck is that?
And why the fuck do I need to know, I just gotta get on a plane and get off at Stockholm.

I like to drink and I like to smoke.
My teachers suck they all a joke.
They just folks that couldn't get a job cause they were either too stupid
or just a knob.

I'm sittin' in biology carvin' up a pig who deserves an apology. What the fuck is this tellin ya?
Like how to make bacon and get salmonella? Or how to chop up a body in the cellar,
with ease and agility like the BTK killer? I think it all blows (blows) why learn about the history
of Cyrano's nose? Is that gonna get me a beamer, a white house or a wife that'll take me to the cleaners?
I don't think so. The best thing I learned was in PE...how to play ping-pong.

I like to drink and I like to smoke.
My teachers suck they all a joke.
They just folks that couldn't get a job cause they were either too stupid
or just a knob.

I'm sitting in geography I got the cumulonimbus a bit of typography. I'd much rather learn photography,
take some picture of bitches and autumn leaves. Then they force-feed us that Shakespeare,
like The Merchant of Venice and it's uncler why everybody calls it all good,
when nobody I know thinks it's good. It's like in 200 years they'll be teaching the kids Empire Strikes Back,
like it's all genius and crap, or maybe they'll study this rap and talk it up like "A matter of fact..."

I like to drink and I like to smoke.
My teachers suck they all a joke.
They just folks that couldn't get a job cause they were either too stupid
or just a knob.

Thank you very much...for teaching me all there is to know about life, as I said in the beginning.
And I wanna sank you..I wanna say thank you to Mrs. - (in da house), and thank you to Mr. - (in da house),
and thank you to Mr. - (in da house haha), and thank you to Mrs. - (in the house), and thank you to Mrs. -.
and thank you to Mr. -, I'm sorry that I threw-wait look Mr. -
Remember when you told me to stop throwing vegetables off the stage (not on my watch) at the Christmas concert, because you didn't want the assemblies to turn into rock concerts?
(Don't do that!) It was the Christmas concert, you're supposed to throw vegetables off the stage at Christmas concerts. (Put those tomatoes down)
That's my opionion anyhow.
And if you don't like it you can...