Lyrics of 'Golden Boy' by Pacific Pugatory

I'm sorry that I'm not the best you think I could be
I know you expected so much more from me
I'm sorry that I couldn't do anything to make you proud
Now it's too late because you're no longer around

I don't want to feel like I disappointed you
So please tell me is there anything that i can do
And i dont know exactly when I'll grow up
But I'll do my best and i hope that's enough

I wanna run away, I wanna get out
I gotta leave today, I wanna leave now
The pressure under the weather
What will it take for me to feel better?
I do everything that should make me feel right
Why do I wake up every day and still hate my fucking life?
I can't believe it that I even made it this far
I look at the night sky but I can't see any stars

I wake up by myself in a bed built for two
I slept in too long check the time and its already noon
Will I do anything worthwhile today
Never let them tell you that we all are the same

I know it's not right to be awake this late
But I prefer the night I don't really like the day
And I wish it was the other way around
I'm an empty shell I'm lost but not yet found
I hate that I know there's more to life than this
Because I'm so afraid to leave from my abyss
Im under pressure under the weather
What will it take for me to feel better
Theres things that I wanna do that I will never see
Goals that I have set but won't ever achieve
My heads in the air and my feet are on the ground
My brain is fucked up and my eyes are spinning round

Im not sure if I'll be fine
I am afraid to die
When does it get better I don't know
I don't really talk at all
I won't answer when you call
I think I'm just gonna go back home