Lyrics of 'Mr. Mistoffelees' by Cats

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You ought to ask Mr Mistoffelees
The Original Conjuring Cat
There can be no doubt about that

Please
Listen to me and don't scoff
All his inventions are off his own bat

There's no such cat in the metropolis
He holds all the patent monopolies
For performing surprising illusions
And creating eccentric confusions

The greatest magicians
Have something to learn
From Mr Mistoffelees' Conjuring Turn

And we all say
Oh, well, I never!
Was there ever a cat so clever as Magical Mr Mistoffelees?

He is quiet, he is small, he is black
From his ears to the tip of his tail
He can creep through the tiniest crack
He can walk on the narrowest rail

He can pick any card from a pack
He is equally cunning with dice
He is always deceiving you into believing
That he's only hunting for mice

He can play any trick with a cork
Or a spoon, and a bit of fish paste
If you look for a knife or a fork
And you think it is merely misplaced
You've seen it one moment
But, then, it is gone
You'll find it next week
Lying out on the lawn

And we all say
Oh, well, I never!
Was there ever a cat so clever as Magical Mr Mistoffelees? (Presto!)
Oh, well, I never!
Was there ever a cat so clever as Magical Mr Mistoffelees?

His manner is vague and aloof
And you would think there was nobody shyer
But his voice has been heard on the roof
While he was curled up by the fire

And he's sometimes been heard by the fire
While he was about on the roof
At least they all heard that somebody purred
Which is incontestable proof
And all of his singular magical powers
And I've known the family to call
Him in from the garden for hours
When he was asleep in the hall

And not long ago, this phenomenal cat
Produced seven kittens
Right out of a hat

And we all say
Oh, well, I never!
Was there ever a cat so clever as Magical Mr Mistoffelees

Radical!

And not long ago this phenomenal cat
Produced seven kittens
Right out of a hat

And we all say
Oh, well, I never!
Was there ever a cat so clever as Magical Mr Mistoffelees

Oh, well, I never!
Was there ever a cat so clever as Magical Mr Mistoffelees?
Oh, well, I never!
Was there ever a cat so clever as Magical Mr Mistoffelees?

Oh, well, I never!
Was there ever a cat so clever as Magical Mr Mistoffelees?
(Magical, mystical)
Oh, well, I never!
Was there ever a cat so clever as Magical Mr Mistoffelees?

I give you the Magical
The Marvelous
Mr Mistoffelees!

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