Lyrics of 'The Farmer' by Bilge Pumps

There was an old farmer who lived by a rock
He sat in the meadow a shaking is fist
At some boys who were down by the crick
Their feet in the water their hands on their marbles

And play things and in days of yore
There came a young lady she looked like a
Pretty young creature she sat on the grass
She pulled up her dresses and showed us her

Ruffles and laces laughed like a duck
She said she was learning a new way to
Bring up her children and learn them to knit
While the boys in the barnyard were shoveling

Refuse and litter from yesterday?s hunt
While the girl in the meadow was rubbing her
Eyes at the fellas like girls sometimes do
To make it clear that she wanted to

Go for a nice pleasant stroll on the grass
Then hurry back home for a nice piece of
Ice cream and cake that was three layers tall
And after desert she was ready to

Go for another walk down by the dock
With any young man with the sizable
Roll of one hundreds and a big bulge up front
If he?d asked politely she?d show him her

Little pet dog who was subject to fits
And maybe she?d let him grab hold of her
Small tender hands with a movement so quick
Then she?d bend on over and suck on his

Soda so sweetly till she finished it
Then pulled down her panties to rub on her
Hip that she bruised when she ran down the hall
Cause he tried to force her to lick on his

Candy so tasty made of butter scotch
And then he spread whip cream all over her
Cookies that she had been baking all night

If you think this is dirty you?re fucking damn right.