Today

Today I found a thousand steaming hot dogs in my bathtubHoy encontré mil panchos humeantes en mi bañera

Goat's head nailed to my doorCabeza de cabra clavada en mi puerta

There was voices chanting in the toaster ovenHabía voces cantando en el horno tostador

And I drove to work from the back seat of my carY manejé al trabajo desde el asiento trasero de mi auto

At work, the boss was giving away tickets to his own hangingEn el trabajo, el jefe regalaba boletos para su propia ejecución

People are smoking joints out of their noses at their desksLa gente fumaba porros por la nariz en sus escritorios

The typewriter was lonely, writing love lettersLa máquina de escribir estaba solitaria, escribiendo cartas de amor

And the telephones are answering themselvesY los teléfonos se contestaban solos

WhoooWhooo

And the supermarket was having a free saleY el supermercado estaba teniendo una venta gratuita

And the turkeys were climbing out of their packagingY los pavos salían de su empaque

And dancing in the aisles with friendly midgetsY bailaban en los pasillos con enanos amigables

As watermelons exploded with delightMientras las sandías explotaban de alegría

Santa Claus ran naked through the city with his fangs on fireSanta Claus corría desnudo por la ciudad con sus colmillos en llamas

Taco truck was being driven by a hyperventilating cactusEl camión de tacos era conducido por un cactus hiperventilado

A mariachi band was playing water polo with a prosthetic headUn grupo de mariachis jugaba waterpolo con una cabeza prostética

And the furniture was sitting on all the peopleY los muebles estaban sentados sobre todas las personas

And the plates were eating all the foodY los platos se comían toda la comida

Whoo yeaWhoo sí