Lyrics of ' Better Me ' by Brandon Arreaga

Lately I been feelin'
I've been puttin' on a show
Try to turn away
But I can't seem to let it go'
Feelin' like the devil's got his hands around my throat
I'm choking, choking, broken
Wish I could say that
I knew where this would go
Before the start of something
I couldn't control
I feel like the devil's got his hands around my throat
Choking, choking, I'm broken

See I ain't got it all together
People lookin' at me like I got the answers (I don't)
Walking through the city with my head up
But I'm still feelin' the pressure
And when I say that I'm okay
I'm really not though (not though)
I try to cover up the pain
I gotta stop though (stop though)
'Cause I don't wanna lose
Everything that I got so
I'm gonna try to make it right

Gonna try to fix my life
Gonna fight to survive
Ain't gonna listen to the lies
I'm just gonna fight
And if I die, that's okay

I know where I'm going
At the end of the day
If only I could keep myself together
For a change
This is not the party that I wanna show up late to
Gotta know it's not a game against you
Rather with you
Only if you choose to
I ain't one to point fingers
'Cause I got my own issues
Try to lay it out
Try not to confuse you
I'm not who I wanna be
I'm not like I used to be
Who I used to be
Wish I could remember how I used to live

Lately I've been thinking
'Bout the words I've said
Things I did
I can do better
Lately I been feelin'
I've been puttin' on a show
Try to turn away
But I can't seem to let it go'
Feelin' like the devil's got his hands around my throat
I'm choking, choking, choking
Wish I could say that
I knew where this would go
Before the start of something
I couldn't control
I feel like the devil's got his hands around my throat
Choking, choking, I'm broken

I ain't finished
No I've got some unfinished business
History ain't short
But I'm tired of keeping secrets
Tired of walking 'round with people
Who don't know the difference
Tired of vibin' with people that don't know the business
But I ain't tryna lose my show
I know it's hard to keep it
Ain't gon' let my observations get the best of me
I wanna see a better me
That what I wanna see
I wanna see a better me
I ain't got time to flee

That's for the market
That ain't gon' be a part of me
I'm gonna stop it
The part of me that are losin' sleep
'Cause I ain't had it
Yeah I've been staying up for weeks
I know it's bad
But I ain't seen no one stopping me
I only see what I wanna see
It's bad for me (bad for me)
I only go when they needed me
Emergency
I only want what I don't need
When will I realize
All I need is what I can't see

It takes a week
Before I'm back doing the same thing
You'd think I learned
But I guess I can't see clearly
'Cause while my vision is up
'Cause I ain't givin it up
I'm holding back because I know about the things that I've done

When will I trust in them
When will I love again
Hope it doesn't take me
Losing everything to realize
He's enough again
Oh I wanna be in love with him
I wanna come back home again

'Cause Lately I been feelin'
I've been puttin' on a show
Try to turn away
But I can't seem to let it go'
Feelin' like the devil's got his hands around my throat
I'm choking, choking, I'm broken
Wish I could say that
I knew where this would go
Before the start of something
I couldn't control
I feel like the devil's got his hands around my throat
Choking, choking, I'm broken
I wanna see a better me
Better me