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Lyrics of 'There's A Delta For Every Epsilon' by Tom Lehrer

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There's a delta for every epsilon,
It's a fact that you can always count upon.
There's a delta for every epsilon
And now and again,
There's also an N.

But one condition I must give:
The epsilon must be positive
A lonely life all the others live,
In no theorem
A delta for them.

How sad, how cruel, how tragic,
How pitiful, and other adjec-
Tives that I might mention.
The matter merits our attention.
If an epsilon is a hero,
Just because it is greater than zero,
It must be mighty discouragin'
To lie to the left of the origin.

This rank discrimination is not for us,
We must fight for an enlightened calculus,
Where epsilons all, both minus and plus,
Have deltas
To call their own.

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• The Masochism Tango
• Pollution
• Alma
• Be Prepared
• So Long, Mom (A Song for World War III)
• My Home Town
• A Christmas Carol
• Bright College Days
• Clementine
• Everybody Eat
• Fight Fiercely, Harvard!
• George Murphy
• I Got It From Agnes
• I Hold Your Hand In Mine
• I Wanna Go Back To Dixie
• In Old Mexico
• It Makes A Fellow Proud To Be A Soldier
• L-Y
• Lobachevsky
• MLF Lullaby

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