Lyrics of 'Dan Hickey's Actual Drums' by They Might Be Giants

Mr. John Flansburgh:
People of Ann Arbor!
They Might Be Giants drum solo satisfaction is very important to us.
Your drum solo needs will be answered in the order in which they are received.

To hear this drum solo in Spanish, press 2.

For Clyde Stubblefield of the James Brown Band, press 3. Shake/shit. (?)

For Gene Krupa, press 4.

For John Bonham, press 5.
[Led Zeppelin's "When the Levee Breaks"]

For John Bonham's fax machine, press 6.
[Led Zeppelin's "Rock and Roll"]

For John Bonham's cellular phone, press 7.
["The Crunge"]

For John Bonham's pager, press 8.
["D'Yer Maker"]

For Mitch Mitchell, press 9.
["Manic Depression"]

For any song by Stevie Wonder from 1984 'til now... press 10.

For Buddy Rich, press 11.

For Keith Moon, press 12.

For Animal from the Muppet Show, press 13.

To compare and contrast Keith Moon with Animal, press 14.
Animal.
Keith Moon.
Animal.
Now slowly, magically conjure up Keith Moon and Animal together in one
entity...
Ladies and gentlemen, our drummer Mr. Dan Hickey's gonna turn this
mother out!

Ladies and gentlemen, Dan Hickey and I were having an argument on the
bus over which was louder: the crowds in Ann Arbor, or his drum
playing.
I said drum playing.
He said audience.
[audience cheers]
I still think I'm winnin'!

Ladies and gentlemen, Dan Hickey is suffering from long term hearing
loss. His ears are simply here for decoration.
He's wearing earplugs and, he's playing the drums, but he's come all the
way from New York City to hear you SCREAM!
[audience cheers]