Lyrics of 'The Nun's Litany' by The Magnetic Fields

I want to be a playboy's bunny
I'd do whatever they asked me to
I'd meet people with lots of money
And they would love me
Like I loved you

I want to be a topless waitress
I want my mother to shed one tear
I'd throw away this old sedate dress
Slip into something a tad more sheer

I want to be an artists' model
An odalisque, au naturel
I should be good at spin-the-bottle
While I've still got something
Left to sell

I want to be a cobra dancer
With Little Willy between my thighs
I may not find a cure for cancer
But I'll meet plenty of single guys

I want to be a brothel worker
I've always been treated like one
If I could be a back-street lurker
I'd make more money
And have more fun

I want to be a dominatrix
Which isn't like me, but I can dream
Learn S, and M,
And all those gay tricks
And men will pay me to
Make them scream

I want to be a porno starlet
(For that I'll wait till Mama's dead)
I'll see my name in lights of scarlet
And get to spend every day in bed

I want to be a tattooed lady
Dedicated, as I am, to art
Characters bold, complex and shady
will write my memoirs
Across my heart.