Lyrics of 'Zelda 3 - Episode 2: Hyrule Castle' by The Amazing BrandO

Gonna stab you all in the throat!
I will kill your face, you don't wanna fuck with this shit
I will throw a vase and then you will die in one hit
Zelda, I'm comin' to the rescue!
(Now that I got a sword and shield, let me)
Tell ya, I'm leavin' quite a mess, too
(Fight my way to the basement, what a fuckin')
Hassle! I'll push you off the ledge, dude
(I'm gonna stab you in the fuckin')
Asshole! I'm killin' all your friends, too
(I'm gonna kill you, I kill everybody)

I'm on my way, there ain't nothing to fear
I'll take you far, far away from here
I've got a plan (I've got a plan!)
I am the man (I am the man!)
Don't you worry baby, dry those tears, because
I would run a gauntlet
I'd travel through time
I would pull the wrong switch
Just to call you mine
I'm gonna hit you with a vase
Then, I'm gonna throw my boomerang
I'm gonna stab right through your face
Gonna put you in your place
Gonna save the fuckin' day

Zelda! Will you give me a kiss?
Zelda! How you gonna do me like this?
(I think there's a chance we might be-)
Destined! It's true, so just accept it!
(Where on Earth did you hear that?)
Hey, I got a question
Is this the right direction?
(Yeah, keep going and we're almost there)

I'm gonna fight these fuckin' guys
(Why don't you just leave them alone?)
I'm gonna stab them in their eye
(Please, would you just leave them alone)
I'm gonna rip out all their hearts
(Link, you're outta control!)
And I'll rob them and I'll fart in their mouth
(Link, you're outta control!)
And break their stuff
(Link, you're outta control!)
Well, excuuuse me, Princess Zelda (Excuse me!) Who put you in charge?
Just do what I tell ya
My penis is large (Really large penis!)
Help me move this shelf, bitch, before I slap you with my junk
I don't give a goddamn if it's that time of the month
I didn't ask for this shit, I'm doing the best that I can
So shut your mouth or go south, because you know I'm the man