Lyrics of 'Crazy Rap' by Afroman

Woo, good morning, ladies
But first, I'ma start it off like this
Hey, help me sing it, homeboy

Say colt 45 and two zig zags
Baby that's all we need
We can go to the park after dark
Smoke that tumbleweed

And as the marijuana burns
We can take our turns
Singing them dirty rap songs
Stop and hit the bong like cheech and chong
Sell tapes from here to Hong Kong

So roll, roll, roll my joint
Pick out the seeds and stems
Feelin' high as hell flyin' through palmdale
Skatin' on dayton rims
So roll, roll the '83 Cadillac coup de ville
If my tapes and my cds just don't sell
I bet my caddy will

Well it was just sundown in a small white town
They call it eastside palmdale
When the afroman walked through the white land
Houses went up for sale
Well, I was standin' on the corner sellin' rap cds
When I met a little girl named jan
I let her ride in my caddy cause I didn't know her daddy
Was the leader of the klu klux klan
We fucked on the bed, fucked on the flo'
Fucked so long, I grew a fuckin' afro
Then I fucked to the left, fucked to the right
She sucked my dick till the shit turned white
I thought to myself, sheba, sheba!
Got my ass lookin' like a zebra!
I pulled on my clothes and I was on my way
Until her daddy pulled up in a Chevrolet
So I ran, I jumped out the back window
But her daddy, he was waitin' with a 2 x 4
Oh, he beat me to the left, he beat me to the right
The mutha-fucker whooped my ass all night
But I ain't mad at her prejudiced dad
That's the best damn pussy I ever had
I got a bag of weed and a bottle of wine
I'm a fuck that bitch just one more time

Colt 45 and two zig zags
Baby that's all we need
We can go to the park after dark
Smoke that tumbleweed

And as the marijuana burns
We can take our turns
Singing them dirty rap songs
Stop and hit the bong like cheech and chong
Sell tapes from here to Hong Kong

So roll, roll, roll my joint
Pick out the seeds and stems
Feelin' high as hell flyin' through palmdale
Skatin' on dayton rims
So roll, roll the '83 Cadillac coup de ville
If my tapes and my cds just don't sell
I bet my caddy will

I met this lady in Hollywood
She had green hair, but damn she looked good
I took her to my house, cause she was fine
But she whipped out a dick that was bigger than mine

I met this lady from japan
Never made love with an African
I fucked her once, I fucked her twice
I ate that pussy like shrimp fried rice

Don't be amazed at the stories I tell ya
I met a woman in the heart of australia
Had a big butt and big titties, too
So I hopped in her ass like a kangaroo

See, I met this woman from Hawaii
Stuck it in her ass, and she said, aiiiiieeee!
Lips was breakfast, pussy was lunch
Then her titties busted open with hawaiian punch

Met colonel sander's wife in the state of Kentucky
She said, I'll fry some chicken if you just fuck me
I came in her mouth, it was a crisis
I gave her my secret blend of herbs and spices

Colt 45 and two zig zags
Baby that's all we need
We can go to the park after dark
Smoke that tumbleweed

And as the marijuana burns
We can take our turns
Singing them dirty rap songs
Stop and hit the bong like cheech and chong
Sell tapes from here to Hong Kong

So roll, roll, roll my joint
Pick out the seeds and stems
Feelin' high as hell flyin' through palmdale
Skatin' on dayton rims