Lyrics of 'Joestar Christmas' by Riverdude Covers

Dashing through the snow
To get to ogre street
Dio poisoned dad
And now he wants my money

Shit, he killed him, how?
What am I doing now?
He's burning down the house, oh no!
In to the statue now

Oh, jingle bells, Dio smells
Star Platinum's a mockery
Can't understand
It's the same stand kono dio da (wry!)
Oh, jingle bells, Dio smells
Star Platinum's a mockery
Can't understand, it's the same stand kono dio da

Jojo died in a boat
In 1889
Dio was there too
But he is fine

He stole his brother's body
And got to have a son
But I am a Joestar and not a Brando cunt

Oh, jingle bells, my dad smells
Star Platinum's a mockery
Can't understand, it's the same stand kono dio da (wry!)
Oh, jingle bells, my dad smells
Star Platinum's a mockery
Can't understand, it's the same stand kono dio da

And then I was born
When century 20 starts
Because it wasn't canon
There's no star birthmark

My dad once had a stand
In a crappy light novel
But no one really cares anyway
Because it wasn't canon

Oh, jingle bells, Dio smells
Star Platinum's a mockery
Can't understand, it's still the same stand konio do da (wry!)
Oh, jingle bells, Dio smells
Star Platinum's a mockery
Can't understand, it's still the same stand konio do da

Joseph had a bastard
And Josuke is my name
A Pink Floyd songs my stand
Araki's favorite to date

I busted David Bowie
He liked to blow stuff up
And masturbate to hands and say
Killer Queen: Bites The Dust

Oh, jingle bells, Dio smells
Star Platinum's a mockery
Can't understand, it's the same stand kono dio da (wry!)
Oh, jingle bells, Dio smells
Star Platinum's a mockery
Can't understand, it's the same stand kono dio da

After Joseph was me
The baddest of them all
People say my stand
Is just The World ripped off

But to those who say I'm bad
And a boring character
I'll stop time and ORA your ass
In to the next chapter

Oh, jingle bells, Dio smells
Star Platinum's not a mockery
Can understand, it's not the same stand kono dio da, wryyy
Oh, jingle bells, Dio smells
Star Platinum's not a mockery
Can understand, it's not the same stand kono dio da

My dad is a deadbeat
He loves fish more than me
He'd rather study a starfish
Than come home on holidays

I'm the only Joestar left
To get an anime
We'll start off with a homocide
Then you'll see me masturbate

Oh, jingle bells, Dio smells
Star Platinum's a mockery
Can't understand, it's the same stand kono dio da (wry!)
Oh, jingle bells, Dio smells
Star Platinum's a mockery
Can't understand, it's the same stand kono dio da

And now our song is done

W'eve gone through everyone

No, these two don't count

It's not the same universe

But with that being said

We have something to say

We hope you have a most bizarre Joestar Christmas

Oh, jingle bells, Dio smells
Star Platinum's a mockery
Can't understand, it's the same stand kono dio da (wry!)
Oh, jingle bells, Dio smells
Star Platinum's a mockery
Can't understand, it's the same stand kono dio da