Lyrics of ' Perform This Way ' by "Weird Al" Yankovic

My mama told me when I was hatched
Act like a superstar
Save your allowance, buy a bubble dress
And someday you will go far

Now on red carpets, well, I'm hard to miss
The press follows everywhere I go
I'll poke your eye out with a dress like this
Back off and enjoy the show!

I'm sure my critics will say
It's a grotesque display
Well, they can bite me, baby
I perform this way
I might be wearin' Swiss cheese
Or maybe covered with bees
It doesn't mean I'm crazy
I perform this way

Ooo, my little monsters pay lots
'Cause I perform this way
Baby, I perform this way

Ooo, don't worry, I'm okay
Hey, I just perform this way
I'm not crazy, I perform this way

I'll be a troll or evil queen
I'll be a human jelly bean
'Cause every day is Halloween
For me

I'm so completely original
My new look is all the rage
I'll wrap my small intestines 'round my neck
And set fire to myself on stage

I'll wear a porcupine on my head
On a W-H-I-M
And for no reason now I'll sing in French
Excusez-moi, Qui a pété?

Got my straight jacket today
It's made of gold lamé
No, not because I'm crazy
I perform this way

I strap prime rib to my feet
Cover myself with raw meat
I'll bet you've never seen
A skirt steak worn this way

Don't be offended when you see
My latest pop monstrosity
I'm strange, weird, shocking, odd, bizarre
I'm Frankenstein, I'm Avatar

There's nothing too embarrassing
I'll honestly do anything
But wear white after Labor Day
'Cause baby I perform this way

Hope you won't think it's cliché
If I go nude today
Don't call the cops now, baby
I perform this way

No reason I should regret
All the attention I get
I'm not completely crazy
I perform this way, yeah

I perform this way, hey
I perform this way, hey
I'm always deviating from the norm this way, hey

I perform this way, hey
I perform this way, hey
I'm really not insane I just perform this way, hey