Lyrics of ' Constipated ' by "Weird Al" Yankovic

Uh, huh, extra cheese
Uh, huh, uh, huh, save a piece for me

Pizza party at your house
I went just to check it out
19 extra larges
What a shame, no one came
Just us, eatin' all alone
You said take the pizza home
No sense lettin' all this go to waste
So then I faced

Pizza all day, and everyday, there's cheese round the clock
It's gettin' me blocked, And I sure don't care for irregularity

Tell me
Why'd you have to go and make me so constipated?
Cos' right now I'd do anything to just get my bowels evacuated
In the bathroom.
I sit and I wait and I strain and I sweat and I clench and I
feel the pain
Oh, should've taken laxatives or had my colon irrigated.
No, no, no

I was feelin' pretty down
'Til my girlfriend came around
We're just so alike in every way, I gotta say
In fact, I just thought I might
pop the question there that night
I was kissing her so tenderly
But woe is me

Who would have guessed, her family crest
I suddenly spy, tattoo'd on her thigh
And son of a gun, it's just like the one on me
Tell me

How was I supposed to know we were both related?
Believe me, if I knew she was my cousin we never would have dated
What to do now?
Should I go ahead and propose and get hitched and have kids with
11 toes
And move to Alabama where that kind of thing is tolerated
No, no, no

(No, no, no)

Ooh, I had so much on my mind
I thought maybe I'd unwind
Try out that new roller coaster ride
And the guide

Said not to stand, but that's a demand
That I couldn't meet, I got on my feet
And stood up instead and knocked off my head you see
Tell me

Why'd I have to go and get myself decapitated?
This really is a major inconvenience, oh man I really hate it
It's such a drag now
I can't eat, I can't breathe, I can't snore, I can't belch or
yodel anymore
Can't spit or blow my nose or even read Sports Illustrated
Oh, no!

Why'd I have to go and get myself all mutilated?
I gotta tell ya, life without a head kinda makes me irritated
What a bummer
I can't blink, I can't cough, I can't sneeze
But my neck is enjoying a pleasant breeze now
Haven't been the same since my head and I were separated
No, no, no