Lyrics of 'How It Would Be' by Life Of Agony

I wonder how it would be if my mother was still around
The type of talk
The relationships we could have had
The three of us
Me, you, and dad

My mouth went dry
My stomach felt queasy too
So empty and scared
It's all because of you
A dead body that turned out not to be dead
No one understands

Wish I really knew what happened to my mom
Because my family
They told me nothing but lies
They figured if they just told me the truth
I'd break down and cry

Feel betrayed and hurt
Profoundly insecure
Want to knock ten times on Heaven's door
Still suffering from old emotional wounds
I was getting worse

Can't depend on them and their lies
Why did she leave?
How did she die?
And when it gets colder outside
I'll be back next year
With that feeling to make me cry

Wanna go visit her grave
Because it's been such a long, long time
Want to pick a peach rose
And rest it on its side
Say a prayer even though I don't believe
And say goodbye

Don't get me wrong
I have a mind to keep me strong
But there's this feeling of not knowing what went wrong
And how she's dead and gone

Don't think anyone thinks
Of you as much as I do