Lyrics of 'The Phonecall' by Jon Lajoie

BOB: i can belive this
i'll kill this motherfucker

JACKE: hello

BOB: hello jacke

JACKE: oh hi there bob
how is it going?

BOB: well i'm just fanfuckintastic jacke
how are you?

JACKE: i know i can't complain

BOB: that's just fucking great
hey i just spoke to my neighbor the lives across the street from me
and he told me that you came by my house today
how is that work?

JACKE: oh yeah yeah i just poped in there for a few minutes

BOB: a few minutes?
My neighbor said it was more like 3 hours, so what you can possible being doing alone with my wife, in my house for 3 hours?

JACKE: oh no no look Bob i'm... i...

BOB :cause you see i guy like me can get suspecious

JACKE: listen ah, i can explain everythin i...

BOB: i want you to explain

JACKE: its not what you think i...

BOB: ow please jacke, unlike me cause i'm really fucking curious to know what you're doing

JACKE: look its nothing its stupid really i went over to your house around 1 o'clock

BOB: Han

JACKE: i fucked your wife and than i left

BOB: REALLY?

JACKE: really i swear i went over i fucked her for a while and after we both cum i just went home

BOB: is my name forrest gump Jacke?

JACKE: ahhh, what?

BOB: answer the fucking question, is my name forrest gump?

JACKE: ohhh well no

BOB: so why you treat me like i'm a fucking retard, do you expect me belive that you were in my house for 3 hours and all you did was fuck my wife?

JACKE: listen i came over she blow me there for a while

BOB: aham

JACKE: i got cum

BOB: uhum

JACKE: so we have to wait a bit then we have sex in the kitchen for a while

BOB: sure

JACKE: and then we have sex in the living room

BOB: you're fuckin lying to me and i really dont like it Jacke, you were in my house for 3 hours

JACKE: no its not ow, we...we, you see we have sex a few times than she wanted more, she said she was rally ex and felling dirty and she wants more than one cock inside of her

BOB: han

JACKE: so i, so we, we called you brother to see if he wanted to come over and get in the action, and he said yes, so we waited around for him about 1 hour that's why it took so long

BOB: hum my brother?

JACKE: uhum

BOB: you and my brother dobled team my wife?

JACKE: oh yeah yeah, ohh we gave it to her boy, in every hole

BOB: han, see that's funny, 'coz my brother is in miami this week jacke, i find hard to belive that my brother, flew all the way all to miami to doble team my wife with you

JACKE: i well ahhh

BOB: and you know what the funny thing is?the faucet of my kitchen is been blinking about 3 months now, and sudenlly today off all days it decides to stop blinking

JAKCE: ohh haha i...

BOB: i'm gonna give you one last chance to answer the question, and if you lie, i guarantee you're gonna regret it, what were you doing in my house today?

JACKE: i'm...i'm sorry your wife called me, and i didn't...i didn't

BOB: ANSWER THE FUCKING QUESTION

JACKE: your wife wanted to me to fix the faucet, cos she couldn't stand dripping noise anymore, didn't know what to do, but she begged me

BOB: AND WHAT DID YOU DO?

JACKE: if fixed it

BOB: fuck

JACKE: i fixed the faucet, i'm so sorry

BOB: motherfucker cocksucker piece of shit, you fuck fixed my faucet you bastard, now i'm gonna fix you face do you hear me? i'm gonna fix you fucking face, if you think i'm gonna fuck you wife again, forget about it man, last nite was the last time

JACKE: [chorando] no no please don't do this

BOB: NEVER AGAIN