Lyrics of 'Started As A Baby' by Jon Lajoie

Yo
Uh
Motherfuckers out there be talking about started from the bottom
Starting with nothing, ha
Y'all don't know shit
That don't compare to the struggle I had to go through
Y'all better recognize, motherfuckers
Cause me

I started as a baby
A tiny little baby
Now look at me, uh
Now look at me

When everybody look at me, yo, they can tell that I'm a grown-up
Six-foot-one, facial hair, with the coffee cup
People saying 'whassup' when they see me on the block
Cause they know I'm on the tour and I know how to talk
But back in the day I couldn't talk, I was a baby
I didn't even know what english was, it sounds crazy
I couldn't even walk, my baby legs were way too weak
Look at me now communicating on my two feet
And eating solid foods whenever the fuck I want
Celery, broccoli, spaghetti, smokey cheese and croissant
But y'all, when I was a newborn child it wasn't this way
Breast milk was the only food my stomach could take
Because I didn't have teeth, motherfucker, I couldn't chew
Bitch, look at me now, I'm fucking biting into fresh fruit
Saying 'fuck you' to all the haters talking shit
Who say I was never a baby, I was born like this
Bitch, just because you see me sitting on a toilet
Don't mean I don't know what it's like to feel a diaper with a load of shit

I started as a baby
A tiny little baby
Now look at me, uh
Now look at me

I drive to work every day to go make some dollar bills
The reason I can do this is that I have basic motor skills
Which I developed over time, but, yo, back in the day
This shit was way too complicated for my tiny baby brain
No comprehension of the concept of motorized transportation
Didn't even understand the concept of changing locations
In the car seat, I stroll, yo, I didn't give a fuck
Just as long as when I cried I had a titty to suck
But I come a long way, today I drive my own car
As a baby I never thought I would make it this far
Contemplating the future was literally impossible
At birth empirical knowledge can be a big obstacle
But being born a baby didn't stop me, I am not a quitter
I kept being alive, so over time, my body got bigger
Life experience and education helped develop my brain
Look at me now, I'm a grown-up, things done changed

I started as a baby
A tiny little baby
Now look at me, uh
Now look at me

Being a baby wasn't easy
But it made me who I am
If you were never a baby
Well, you wouldn't understand
It sounds crazy, but before being a baby
I was split in half (two parts)
Half in my mom, the other half
Was in my dad's nutsack (means his testicles)

That's right, bitch, I even used to be microscoannotatepic
Shot out of my dad's dick into mom's uterus
Nine months later I was sucking on my mom's tit
Thirty years later I recorded this fucking hit

I started as a baby
A tiny little baby
Now look at me, uh
Now look at me

Oh, yeah... I'm getting paper
Shit, when I was a baby, I didn't even know what paper was
I didn't even know that you could exchange it for goods and services
I didn't even know what goods and services were

What about you, mc vagina?

When I was a baby, I didn't even know that owning a lot of guns
Was the best thing you could do for safety
When I was a baby, I was sooo stupid