Lyrics of 'Fuck Everyting' by Jon Lajoie

Yo. all the rappers claim to not give a fuck.
Well step aside bitches, cause i give the lowest amount of fuck humanly possible.

What?!

(i don't a give a fuck...)
About anything, fuck everyone and fuck everything, what
(i don't give a fuck...)
I literally don't give a fuck about anything

I don't give a fuck about motherfuckin' anything
People care about shit, i say fuck everything
Fuck you, fuck me, fuck the sky, fuck trees, fuck the sun
I don't need heat or vitamin d!

And fuck toasters. i don't need to cook my bread
And fuck coasters. i use a little plate instead
And fuck roosters. with their useless cockadoodledoo
We invented the alarm clocks, we no longer need you

Don't give a fuck about chairs. i prefer to stand
And fuck air conditioners - i got a ceiling fan
And fuck the the movie the fan, staring wesley snipes
Demolition man's the only snipes' movie i like
And fuck liking shit. i don't even like the stuff that i like
Don't give a fuck about not liking all the shit i don't like

Like tissues. fuck them! i blow my nose on the couch
And fuck my nostrils and my senses now i breathe through my mouth
Don't give a fuck about seeing bitch, fuck my eyes
Fuck physical perception yo, i'd rather be blind
Fuck time, seconds are too short and minutes are a joke
And hour is way too long, it should be half an hour at most
And fuck coasts, who gives a fuck about where water meets land
And fuck boats, just because you float you think you're so fucking bad
And fuck jokes, i don't need to be funny all the time
My dog has a tumor and he's probably gonna die, but...

(i don't a give a fuck...)
About anything, fuck everyone and fuck everything, what
(i don't give a fuck...)
I literally don't give a fuck about anything

Walked into a coffee shop and ordered a cup
The girl says "small, medium, large?"
I said "bitch, i don't give a fuck!"
She said "i can't process your order if you don't pick a size"
I said "fine, i'll take a large, but i still don't give a fuck, alright?"
Don't give a fuck about beverage size options motherfucker
And i don't give a fuck about liquids either
They're all wet and shit and tend to spill all over the place
Like human semen when i get it all over my face

I'm not gay, i just don't give a fuck about straight sex
And fuck my dick, i'll pee and cum out of my mouth instead.
Fuck biological functions, fuck the human body
I prefer the body of a bat with the head of a coyote
I call myself "batyote" and i fight crime at night
I know its similar to batman but motherfuck copyright
I plagiarize all the time, i do it everyday
Cause i'm on the right track baby, i was born this way

And fuck birth, entering the world of space & time is a bitch
Searching for purpose in the random universe sucks dick
Is it deterministic or am i free to choose my way
Did i choose to not give a fuck about ice cube trays
If i want ice i'll go to the fucking corner store and buy a bag
Filling you up and waiting for the water to freeze is a motherfucking drag
You know what? fuck the word fuck, i don't need to use it
I'll replace it with the word chainsaw for this chorus

(i don't a give a chainsaw...)
About anything, chainsaw everyone and chainsaw everything, what
(i don't give a chainsaw...)
I literally don't give a chainsaw about anything

If there was a contest to see who doesn't give a fuck the most
I wouldn't win cause i don't give a fuck about winning yo
I don't even give a fuck about not giving a fuck,
So i do give a fuck... wait, what?

(i give a fuck...)
About everything, i love everyone and care about everything
(i give a fuck...)
I literally care about every motherfucking thing