Lyrics of 'Everyday Normal Crew' by Jon Lajoie
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Hey yo! Fuck NWA (Get the fuck outta here).
Fuck G Unit (fuck that shit).
Fuck D12 (motherfucker!).
Get the fuck out of the way (fuck you bitch!).
Normal motherfucking crew (motherfucker!).
Everyday normal crew (what?! what?! what?! what?!).
We just a regular everyday normal crew,
You can fuck with us 'cause we won't fuck with you.
We just a regular everyday normal crew,
Once a month we get drunk and watch Terminator 2.
We just a regular everyday normal crew,
If you're hot bitches we're too shy to talk to you.
We just a regular everyday normal crew,
And we get joy spending time with our families.
This is my bro J-A to the S-O-N yo,
the best at Mike Tyson's Punch Out on Nintendo.
From Glass Joe to Macho Man, yo he fucks shit up,
then Tyson goes down with a star upper-cut.
And he's also pretty good at Super Mario 3,
but he doesn't use the flutes cause he doesn't like cheats.
Like the Contra code that he really doesn't like,
Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right,
then B, A, B, A, Select, Start you got 30 lives.
He says that shit's for pussies who don't know how to fight.
Yo this my man cheese, better known as cheese bread,
We call him that 'cause every time he gets out of bed
he puts 5 slices of cheese on 5 slices of bread.
Microwaves that shit, eats it, then goes back to bed.
Sleeps 12 hours a day and he doesn't like Asian food.
That's right bitches, he doesn't like Asian food.
He doesn't like the taste of soy sauce,
personally I love that shit but he does not.
Yo Ben is my friend that owns every DVD
from Goonies to Time Cop to Beverly Hills Cop 3.
Dark Knight, First Knight, A Knight's Tale, and Knight Rider,
He even owns the motherfucking movie Street Fighter.
I borrow them from him I never pay to rent a movie,
as long as I take care of the box and don't scratch the DVD,
cause last week I borrowed City Slickers and it got scratched,
I was hoping that he wouldn't notice when I brought it back.
but he did and he was pissed so I apologized to him
and he forgave me and I asked him if I could borrow the movie Twins.
He was reluctant to do so, but he knows I love DeVito,
with Schwarzenegger, that's a motherfucking comedic duo!
We just a regular everyday normal crew,
we own our tickets to Alanis Morissette in June.
We just a regular everyday normal crew,
we bust gats and cadillacs in Grand Theft Auto 2.
We just a regular everyday normal crew,
no party is a party without a Phil Collins too.
We just a regular everyday normal crew,
And when one of us gets a haircut we make fun of them.
Yo this is D and he's a big fucking wrestling fan,
Monday Night Raw, Smackdown, and all the shit from the past.
Like Macho Man Randy Savage and Hulkamania,
Every year he travels to attend WrestleMania.
It may come as no surprise that he's never had sex,
but it doesn't bother him 'cause he has the internet.
He jerks off to freaky shit like 2 Girls 1 Cup,
he's fucked up I tried watching it I fucking threw up.
This my nigga KC (What the fuck did you just call me?),
Sorry…I'll say friend.
This is my friend KC the only black friend in the crew,
not because we're racist every race is welcome in the group.
Truthfully he's a friend of a friend I don't know him that well,
but not because he's black my favorite actors are Denzel…
and Samuel L. Jackson, I also like Bill Paxton,
but not because he's white, but because of his acting.
This is my friend Cleo, she really likes the Beatles,
her favorite is McCartney and her least favorite is Ringo.
A year ago I asked her to go on a date with me she said no,
she said she'd rather just be friends, I started cryin and ran home.
And since then we rarely make eye contact when we speak,
which is awkward 'cause we all hang out at least two times a week.
Finally, I ain't me without my best friend Steve,
He's got my motherfuckin' back although he's weaker than me.
He'll probably have a heart attack sometime soon,
but until then he's my top gun like fucking Tom Cruise.
Jon Lajoie: Say it
Steve: Nah
Jon Lajoie: Say it, c'mon say it.
Steve: Nah
Steve: You want some of this bitch?! Money! Have a nice day bitch!
If you play organized sports say, "Hell yeah."
If you watch 24 say, "Hell yeah."
If the only ass you see is in porn say, "Hell yeah."
If you eat chocolate when you're bored say, "Hell yeah."
I eat chocolate, a lot…when I'm bored. Um, I should stop though…
my metabolism is slowing down. I also like pie…cherry…rhubarb.
We just a regular everyday normal crew,
the joke's getting old I fucking agree with you.
We just a regular everyday normal crew,
I just repeat the same shit from Normal Guy 1 and 2.
We just a regular everyday normal crew,
What a twist with this one I rapped about my friends too.
We just a regular everyday normal crew,
I think this cow's been milked dry…motherfucker!
Steve: You want some of this bitch? You'll never get it…it's gonna go right up my asshole.
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