Lyrics of 'Foursome Guests' by Jerry Springer: the Opera (Musical)

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JERRY (spoken):
Thank you! Welcome to the show!

(AUDIENCE Cheer)

JERRY (spoken):
Today all my guests have guilty secrets.
They also have partners who want to get these secrets off their chests and come clean!

So please welcome my first guest with a dirty secret, Dwight!

(AUDIENCE Cheer/Jeer)

Welcome to the show, Dwight!

DWIGHT:
Hey Jerry, wassup?

JERRY (spoken):
Wassup?

AUDIENCE:
Wassup!

JERRY (spoken):
So Dwight, what's on your mind?

DWIGHT:
I been seein' my fiancee for two years.

AUDIENCE:
Aaah.

DWIGHT:
And we're getting married in two months!

AUDIENCE:
Aaah.

JERRY (spoken):
And what is it you want to tell your fiancee?

DWIGHT:
I been seeing someone else!

AUDIENCE:
Boo!

DWIGHT:
Someone else!

AUDIENCE:
Boo!

DWIGHT:
Someone else! Someone else!

AUDIENCE:
Boo!

DWIGHT:
Whatever! Get over it!

JERRY (spoken):
Okay, shhh, come on! Now, does your fiancee know this person?

DWIGHT:
Its her best friend, Zandra.

AUDIENCE:
Boo!

DWIGHT:
Oh whatever!

JERRY (spoken):
Okay, okay.
Now, you're getting married in two months, why would you cheat on your future wife?

DWIGHT:
I don't know, Jerry, it just happened!
But I really love her!

AUDIENCE:
Aaah!

DWIGHT:
God, I really love her! But I gotta get my secret of my chest!

AUDIENCE and DWIGHT:
Off my/his chest!

JERRY (spoken):
Well lets see feels about it, please say hello to Peaches!

AUDIENCE:
Jerry Jerry Jerry Jerry! Pig! Bitch! Pig! Bitch!

JERRY (spoken):
Hi Peaches, dont listen to them, they're just kidding!

AUDIENCE:
Pig!

JERRY (spoken):
Welcome to the show. Welcome to the show, Peaches.
You know why you're here?

PEACHES:
No idea, Jerry.

JERRY (spoken):
Well how's the relationship?

DWIGHT:
It's good.

PEACHES:
Uh-huh!

DWIGHT:
Real good.

PEACHES:
Uh-huh!

JERRY (spoken):
Well Dwight has something he wants to tell you, go ahead, Dwight!

DWIGHT:
Baby, we been going out for two years.

PEACHES:
Uh-huh, uh-huh!

DWIGHT:
Things are going good!

PEACHES:
Uh-huh, uh-huh!

DWIGHT:
But I got something to say!

PEACHES:
Uh-huh, uh-huh?

DWIGHT:
Something that's burning inside!

PEACHES:
Uh-huh?

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It's important to note that Jerry Springer: the Opera (Musical), in live concerts, has not always been or will be faithful to the lyrics of the song Foursome Guests... So it's better to focus on what the song Foursome Guests says on the record.