Lyrics of 'The Bitch of Chiselhurst Caves' by Jaldaboath
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Mead can do many things
It can even make you blind
And the tavern wenches round
These parts drive me out of my mind
There's on such girl of whom I know
Who's been around the block
For fifteen duckets and a bucket of milk
She'll even roost your cock.
She's for hire, baby
Doff your cap and quaff your wine
For the bitch of chiselhurst caves is mine
War your sons and tell your chums:
She's the bitch of chiselhurst caves
If you take her home to stroke your bone
And caress your mighty helm
She'll tie you to the bed and ride you 'til you're dead,
She's the finest in the realm
When you're worn right through and your balls
Are blue and your dreams full of delight
Don't be surprised if she takes all your gold
And vanishes in the night
"She wants my sausage"
(But she'd better hurry up 'cos there's only one going)
So hide your stash and bank your cash,
Be wise and mark these words:
You'll have your way but you'll have to pay,
For the best-laid supper can turn to turds
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