Lyrics of 'Suicidal Thoughts (feat. Josh A)' by Jake Hill

I'm not suicidal I don't wanna fucking die
Just wanna be able to close my eyes and feel alright
But every day I feel like dying
Every day I feel like dying (dying)

Why do I even try?
Why do I even write lyrics about how I'm living the life when I'm battling pain and my demons at night
Trying to find a new outlet
The devil pounced in
I hear him howling, my vision clouded
Man I tried to escape but there ain't no way
Try to be strong when I deal with the pain
(yuh) Put a bitch in the coffin, so my family has options
Gonna work till' I'm dead
So that they get the best
Don't wanna set up a bad example cause' kids looking up
Can't leave them in shambles can't make them think clocking out is ok
So fuck suicide I'm here to stay

Try to free my mind
I don't know what's right
Wasting all my time, trying to find the light
Try to free my mind
I don't know what's right
Wasting all my time, trying to find the light
(nah, nah)
I'll be out here running, I'll be running from myself now
Gunning demons down find my way out of this cell now
I'll be running now, I'll be running from myself now
Gunning demons down, find my way out of this cell now

I'm not suicidal I don't wanna fucking die
Just wanna be able to close my eyes and feel alright
But every day I feel like dying
Every day I feel like dying (dying)

One too many bad thoughts inside me
Got a hole in my heart put the past behind me
I'm pressed with time, I'm stressed with life, my breath is ice
I guess I might just bottle it up some more just like always
Barely standing, crawling down the hallways
Sink into my bed, with death inside my head
(Yeah) That note you found I didn't mean it
Just wish I had a better sense of meaning
Never meant to let you down
I've been down now racing thoughts had to drown them out
(Fuck)
Never giving in I swear to god, no matter how many times I pray to a god
I don't believe in just to see if I will never wake up
But he called my bluff

Try to free my mind
I don't know what's right
Wasting all my time, trying to find the light
Try to free my mind
I don't know what's right
Wasting all my time, trying to find the light
(nah, nah)
I'll be out here running, I'll be running from myself now
Gunning demons down find my way out of this cell now
I'll be running now, I'll be running from myself now
Gunning demons down, find my way out of this cell now

I'm not suicidal I don't wanna fucking die
Just wanna be able to close my eyes and feel alright
But every day I feel like dying
Every day I feel like dying (dying)
(Muffled)
I'm not suicidal I don't wanna fucking die
Just wanna be able to close my eyes and feel alright
But every day I feel like dying
Every day I feel like dying (dying)