Lyrics of 'Assault & Batteries' by Ice Nine Kills

Breaking News Alert
A deadly shootout at a local toy store
Has left one police officer wounded and a wanted serial killer, dead
Our next guest claims her son's doll is possessed
By the spirit of a dead mass murderer

(I'll be watching over you and every move you make)
(I may be made of plastic, but I'm wide awake)
(I'll be right by your side until the day you die)
(Your friend until the end, I'm your Good Guy)

Hey, Andy!
It's time to play, motherfucker!

Through a child's eye, you'll find it's hard to refuse
A friendly freckled face (Oh, honey, isn't he cute?)
But little do they know, little do they see (that play time is over!)
It's a killing spree, bitch!

(Na-na-na booboo, he's gonna get you)
E-V-I-L
D-O-L-L
(Na-na-na booboo, violence and voodoo)

You won't ever grow up, you won't make it past six
‘Cause this two-foot tall demonic doll will make you his bitch
You won't ever grow up
He'll toy with you till you die to prove that evil comes in every size

(Mommy, mommy, my doll is alive!)

One child holds the truth, but he's labeled a liar (one doll dismembered them all)
(With no assembly required!)
They won't know what to say, they won't know what to do
('Cause the carnage continues) at a store near you!

(Na-na-na booboo, he's gonna get you)
E-V-I-L
D-O-L-L
(Na-na-na booboo, violence and voodoo)

(You won't) ever grow up, you won't make it past six
‘Cause this two-foot tall demonic doll will make you his bitch
You won't ever grow up
He'll toy with you till you die
To prove that evil comes in every size (na na na na na na na)

And once he's planted his seed
You'll know your life's been uprooted
‘Cause safety's not guaranteed
(Assault and batteries included) (na na na na na na na)
Stitched back together it seems by the evil bride of his dreams
(Heaven help you) if you hear him scream

Ade Due Damballa
(Attention shoppers: One soul left in stock)
Ade Due Damballa
(A new kid) on the chopping block!

Yeah!
(Hahaha)
(Hidey-ho, bitch!)

You won't ever grow up, you won't make it past six
‘Cause this two-foot tall demonic doll will make you his bitch
You won't ever grow up
He'll toy with you till you die
To prove that evil comes in every size (na na na na na na na)

You won't ever grow up, you won't make it past six
‘Cause this two-foot tall demonic doll will make you his bitch
You won't ever grow up
He'll toy with you till you die to prove that evil comes (evil comes)
Evil comes
In every size

(Na-na-na booboo) fuck you!