Lyrics of 'Aztec Priests Song' by Horrible Histories
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We're Aztec priests so mind your head
Our prisoners always wind up dead
Our favourite colour is blood red
We're not nice
At an Aztec temples opening day
We priest would please the gods this way
Hoards of enemies we'd slay
Mass sacrifice
To win at war, make crops grow more
To cure our kids when ill
The Sun to shine, this song to rhyme
More victims we must kill
Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
You won't survive! You won't survive!
Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Ain't staying alive! Ain't staying alive!
Yeah!
With scarifice, we priest appease
Our gods each powerful big cheese
Lets hear it for your favourits please! Haaa!
We're doing it for Toci, the Aztec goddess of the earth's heart
We're doing it for Chantigo, goddess who makes volcanoes start
We're doing it for Itzli, the goddess of stone knives
We're doing it for Itzpapalotlometeotlchiconahuiehecatl
Errr? Some other gods great lives!
Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Don't cross us Aztecz, we advise ya!
Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Or you'll end up as fertiliser!
Yeah!
Our year starts in November, when every priestly member
Is asked if they'll remember, our Aztec dead
We do this if you haven't guessed, by getting something off your chest
Your heart would proberbly be best, or else your head
And then on our year planners, it's the raising of the banners
And it's only polite manners, to kill more guys
December and January, desmembering methods vary
All you need to know, is that we pill them high
May and June, it's summer time, the killing is easy
It's only halfway through the year, bet you're feeling queasy
In autumn time, we sweep our home and kill some more but then
By late October, the killings over, then it starts up again!
Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
You won't survive! You won't survive!
Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Ain't staying alive! Ain't staying alive!
Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Want to live until you're old?
Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Avoid us priests, you've been told!
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