Lyrics of 'He Who Would Valium Take' by Half Man Half Biscuit

If you've been searching for the lyrics of the song He Who Would Valium Take by Half Man Half Biscuit for a long time, start warming up your voice, because you won't be able to stop singing it.

The car that parked on the pavement narked
Pedestrians and children with chalk.
Their games, their shapes, their capers, their japes
Destroyed by a thoughless shitehawk
And yea, though I walk in the road to get past
I'm not in the least afraid.
For soon I will fly to the great by-and-by
Away from a world without shade.

A streaker streaks and a nation shrugs
At a saucer-like disc in the sky.
And stag weekends are poor weekends
If the army is not on standby.
Pub grub, pub games, pub laughs, pub pains
And the pitbull-like strains of kids
If Chelsea, Chantelle, or Jordan should yell
My fears should relate to my skids

The maverick cops with their average plots
And boring unorthodox ways.
The previous life as a pharoah's wife
Is mightily irksome these days.
The Lady in Red hides under the bed
From a husband who quotes Chubby Brown.
It's cold and it's wet, and a knell of regret
Is pealing throughout every town.
Is pealing throughout every town.

(Amen)

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