Lyrics of '(The Legend Of) Miss Baltimore Crabs' by Hairspray

Front step
Cha cha cha
Back step
Cha cha cha
Side step
Front step
Back and turn

Oh, my God, Penny, there's Link, Link!
I can't belive I'm realy here auditioning!

I can't believe I'm really watching you audition!

Front step, cha cha cha
Back step, cha cha cha
Side step, front step, back and
Oh, Amber, look at this motley crew!
Oh, this town sure has gone downhill since I was crowned Miss Baltimore Crabs

Oh, my God
How times have changed
This girl's either blind
Or completely deranged
Ah, but time seemed to halt
When I was Miss Baltimore Crabs
Amber, that move is far too dirty

Mother, wake up from that dream of yours, this isn't 1930

You can laugh but life's a test
Don't do this don't do that
Remember! mother knows best
But the crown's in the vault
From when I won Miss Baltimore Crabs

This steps are perfect ammunition

Let me show you how your mother dear
Took out the competition
Girls, go ge'em!
Boys, let´s rumba!
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
Those poor runner ups
Might still hold some grudges
They padded their cups
But I screwed the judges
Those broads thought they'd win
If I plade they would spin in their dance
Not a chance
Boys put me down
Oh, good morning, ladies
Let´s see what you got!

Twis twist twist twist
Mashed potato, mambo

Ready begin
On my show you'll never find
A thurusting hip, or bumbing bind

Was that a dance for fleats and ticks?

Oh, you should have seen my bag of tricks!
Oh, I hit the stage
Batons ablaze!
While belting Aida
And preparing souflees!
But that triple somersault
Is how I clinched miss baltimore crabs!

Proceed

Are you scared, were on live

No I'm sure I can cope!

Well, this show isn't broadcast in cinemascope

I never drInk one chocolate malt!
No dessert, for Miss Baltimore Crabs

This one will never get a date in those hand-me-down clothes

Ha! kid, she'll never get a date til daddy buys her new nose
I would say oy gevalt!!
If wasn't Miss Baltimore Crabs

Do you dance like your dress?

Amber, there's no need to be cruel

Would you swim in an intergrated pool?

I sure would!
I'am all for intergration, its a new frontier!

Not in Baltimore it isn't, and may I be frank
First impressions con be thogh
And when I saw you, I knew it
If your size weren't enough
Your last answer just blew it
And so my dear, so short and stout
You'll never be in
So we're kicking you out!
With your form and your face
Oh, but it isn´t your fault
You're just down with a case of Miss Baltimore Crabs
Eh, you may go

Thank you

I think they secrethy liked you