Lyrics of 'Gay Boyfriend' by Garfunkel and Oates

Got a man, call him my boyfriend, think I've fallen in love
The only man that gives me the things that I am worthy of
Hugs me and holds me, kisses me softly, calls me back right away
He communicates his feelings to me and cares what I have to say
He says
Baby, I love you, baby, I need you
Never gonna let you go

Writes me love notes, takes me shopping and to broadway shows
Talk to him like he is a girlfriend, slumber party every night
I've never been so happy before, he's almost Mr. Right
But I think he's hot and I think he's sweet
And I think he's gay and I think he's neat
Okay, okay, so my boyfriend's gay
But what does it matter anyway?

He hasn't come out of the closet yet
'Til then, I'll take all that I can get

If he doesn't think I know
But I know, I know, I've always known
If he doesn't think it shows
But it shows, for sure, it's always shown
You might think it's a little sad
But he's the best lover that I've ever had

At night, when we're lying in bed
He's not hard, it's okay, 'cause he gives me head
Like my mom always says
It takes more than a pound to be good in bed
You don't know the meaning of rock your world
'Til you've been with a guy who thinks like a girl

He lies and says he's on meds, that's why he's never stiff
When I ask if he's not into me, he always says, as if
But the way he makes up for his shortcomings just could not be finer
'Cause my new best friend is his tongue and his is my vagina
He reappears from under the covers, looking like he's been to war
Breaks a sweat, catches his breath, and comes down back for more
After that, he's never tired, he just want to talk
And cuddles me until I sleep, then takes his dog for a walk

Someday he'll come out and I'll be happy for him when he does
And I know I'll be sad and thinking of what was
Someday this fairytale will come to an end
'Cause his fairy tail will find a like-minded friend

If he doesn't think I know
But I know, I know, I've always known
If he doesn't think it shows
But it shows, for sure, it's always shown
You don't need no penetration
When you got a good dose of overcompensation

At night, when we're lying in bed
He's not hard, it's okay, 'cause he gives me head
Like my mom always says
It takes more than a pound to be good in bed
You don't know the meaning of slot machine
'Til you've been with a king who thinks like a queen

I know it's not forever, but that's okay
'Cause I'm his girlfriend, and he's my gay