Lyrics of 'Tony Hawk VS Wayne Gretzky' by Epic Rap Battles Of History

[Tony Hawk]
I can skate better than this church boy turd can
Not Cash Money
It's just Wayne versus Birdman
You got your whole league to protect and adore you
So which goon's gonna take this battle for you?
I'm a dude who blew up extreme sports
That nose looks like it's seen extreme snorts
I mean, look at that thing
That slope is gigantic!
Even I wouldn't fly off a ramp that titanic
And all that ice underneath you will be melted into water
When I hit you with a trick that's even hotter than your daughter
You're old and you're basic
Your talent is fading
And Oiler alert
You're about to get traded
I drop rhymes like I'm dropping into a half pipe
I'll thrash this asswipe
Hit you like a hash pipe
Keep your mittens on, Gretzky
You're too clean
I got this covered like gravy on poutine

[Wayne Gretzky]
That verse was rough
Damn, Tony
So let me smooth it out, like I'm a damn Zamboni
I'm the greatest ever when I play hockey
But on the microphone I don't play, Hawkey
This is a street fight, T-Hawk, show some respect
If you don't, then you'll get a slap shot to the deck
And I take a Flyer down, bird, you're getting wrecked
So you best prepare for arrival and cross check
Hey, let me tell you what putting a puck in the net's worth
Double what you bank in bucks
Check my net worth
And my hot wife
The only woman in the world for Wayne
You're on your fourth wife
Talk about the X-Games
There was one big trick that you ever did
That you got out-spun by a 12-year old kid
Oh, you like finger flips?
How 'bout one of these?
Sit on this and rotate 900 degrees

[Tony Hawk]
Great one, Wayne
Let me say something, Wayne
I got 99 problems and you ain't one Wayne
You'll catch a pop-shove it to the mullet if you tempt me
Your threats are like my swimming pools, bruh
Empty

[Wayne Gretzky]
Let's skip the kickflips and McTwists
You'll be speechless after three periods like an ellipsis
This goofy-footed geek straight getting smoked
Got you down on your kneepads
Sorry bout the deke joke

[Tony Hawk]
You should hit the buzzer 'cause it's time to change lines
You put that joke in a top shelf of lame rhymes
This ain't typical sports
I use centripetal force
While you prance around in four-pound icy diaper shorts
I try to watch you on TV
But I can't see the puck
Hockey used to have guts
But now the teams mighty suck
I taught kids around the world that there's nothing they can't do
Put more souls into skating than some Vans shoes

[Wayne Gretzky]
Time out!
Let's talk about athletic achievements
You and I have so many world records between us
184
And that's plenty of them
And I set 183 of them!
Undisputed, unrefuted G.O.A.T.
You've been going downhill since Pro Skater 3
Too far ahead for you to catch up
For true sports fans this was finished
As soon they heard the match up