Lyrics of 'World of Hair' by Dan Deacon

PC: Kaiser get in here right now!
K: What's the matter police commissioner?
PC: There's a knight hiding.
K: Like a knight in shining armor?
PC: There's a knight hiding in my room.
K: Well, uh, have you seen the knight?
PC: No, but every now and again I hear him scraping his blade agone, agone the floor, cackling.
K: If you, if you haven't seen him I don't understand how you know it's a knight.
PC: I can hear the clanking of metal as he, as he scurries behind desk to cabinet.
K: I think that's probably just the pipes.
PC: It certainly is not, I found a big fanciful feather that fell out of his cap.
K: A feath-? I don't- knights don't have feathers.
PC: How can you deny that? Look at this feather.
K: Okay, police commissioner.
PC: Imagine it adorned on top of a metal helmet, riding on an armored horse, hiding in my office.
K: Tonight I'll pick up some-
PC: I know you can hear us!
K: Tonight I'll pick up some-
PC: I know you're out there!
K: I'll get some knight traps.
*beep*
PC: Kaiser get in here right now!
K: Yes, police commissioner.
PC: I put a bird in this glue. Look at it. Look how pathetic it is.
K: This is just cruel. Why are we doing this, police commissioner? This is horrible.
PC: You have nothing to do with it. Shut up.
K: *Stammers*
PC: Get out!
K: I, ah, thank you police commissioner.
PC: Turn off the lights!
K: I think I'm going to report you.
PC: Turn the lights off!
K: I think I'm definitely reporting you to someone.
PC: Get back here. Get back here.
K: What? What? Just what?
PC: Look how pathetic it is.
K: I don't want to look at how pathetic it is! This is horrible! What a terrible thing!
PC: HAHAHAAA!
K: And you're just laughing! This is, I'm going to my own office and I'm -
PC: No, no, come here. Shut up, Shut up!
K: Stop telling me to shut up!
PC: Put your hand on the table and close your eyes.
K: No, I am certainly not going to do that!
PC: Come on! Come on!
K: No. Gluing a bird? I'm not doing this. No way.
PC: Look at it.
K: No. No! No! Thank you, Thank you.
PC: He'll never fly again!
K: I say good day.
*beep*
PC: KAISER GET IN HERE RIGHT NOW!
K: Yes, police commissioner.
PC: This coat fit me properly?
K: Yea, I think you look pretty good.
PC: I can't figure out if it's part of. Can you? Come on.
K: Yea, yea, I'll help. Here we go.
PC: Mmmm.
K: There you are.
PC: Ah.
K: How's that?
PC: Ah-ah.
K: Okay. Alright
*beep*
PC: KAISER I WANT YOU IN MY OFFICE PRONTO!
K: Yes, police commissioner.
PC: Hoooly moley, I got a funny joke for you.
K: Oh, tell it to me! I could use a funny joke.
PC: Alllright.
K: What is it?
PC: Close your eyes and put your hand on my desk.
K: What are you gonna do?
PC: Just do it.
K: I don't know if this is a good idea.
PC: Close your eyes and put your hand on my desk.
K: No, I think this is a joke on me, and I don't wanna-
PC: Trust me, trust me.
K: Ehhhh.
PC: Alright, your eyes closed tight?
K: Yea.
*whump*
K: Motherfucker! Why the fuck did you do that?
PC: I hit your hand with this hammer!
K: Yea, why did you, that's not funny!
PC: Haaahahaa!
K: Screw you police commissioner! Listen, listen, I resign.
PC: No way!
K: I'm gonna write a letter of resignation right now.
PC: You're hired.
*beep*
PC: KAISER GET IN HERE RIGHT NOW!
K: Ugh, yes, police commissioner.
PC: Look how big that is!
K: Yea, that is big.
PC: I don't- can't believe how big that is!
K: Yea, that is really really big.
PC: Wow!
K: I don't even know how they got it in here.
PC: I don't even know what it is.
K: Yea, what- what are you gonna do with it?
PC: I don't know, maybe um, how w- warm do you think it is?
K: I don't know, it looks pretty warm.
PC: Looks pretty warm!
K: Yea.
PC: Touch it with your. Touch it with your skin.
K: What?
PC: Touch it with your skin a little bit.
K: Why don't you touch it with your skin?
PC: Oh, I've been doing it for hours before you got in here. Touch it with your skin.
K: Well, what was it doing to your skin?
PC: Nothing.
K: It was doing nothing to your skin?
PC: Nothing at all, touch it.
K: Are you lying to me, police commissioner?
PC: Nooo, nooo.
K: Why do you want me to touch it with my skin?
PC: Just touch it with your skin.
K: I don't think I'm gonna do that.
PC: Touch it with some of your skin.
K: No, listen, I've gotta get to work, there's a lot of stuff that needs to be done. I'm not gonna touch that with my skin.
PC: Ba-gawwk! Ba-gawwk!
K: Are you calling me a chicken?
PC: No. Cum on me.
K: Thank you.
*beep*
PC: KAISER GET IN HERE RIGHT NOW!
K: What is it, police commissioner?
PC: My hands are turning into some sort of cream.
K: Your hands are turning into a cream?
PC: Oh, I can just tell.
K: Well, did you, did you eat anything?
PC: When I woke up in the morning, I saw a huge cream.
K: You saw a cream?
PC: In my hands.
K: Well maybe, maybe it's not that your hands are turning into cream, maybe it's just that you have some cream on your hands.
PC: No, no, you don't see.
K: You've used all the sea?
PC: YOOOOUUUUUUU!!!
* beep extendido*