Lyrics of 'Quit Teasin' Me Ed' by Cledus T. Judd

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Hey Cledus, Whad'ya get in the mail?

He-he-he, got a letter from Ed.

What's it say?

I don't know. D'you get one?

Well, open it up!

He-hahahahahahaha!

...Open it.

I quit my job about a year ago, I'm on a permanent vacation
All I gotta do now is sit back and wait'll my notification
You see, old Ed, he's a friend of mine, and he writes me once a week
Sends me my very own winnin' numbers
I'm practically on easy street
Well, I don't know, I reckon Ed just likes me a little better'n everybody else
I'm sure he's been tryin' to reach me,
But uh, I've been out on tour with Garth Brooks. He-hehehehe
Now, you might think pricin' a Mercedes might be a jumpin' the gun
But hey, I got a letter from Ed today that said I may've already won!

Quit teasin me Ed
...Quit teasin me Ed
My kids need to be fed
...My kids need to be fed
I believed what you said
...I believed what you said
Quit teasin' me Ed

You promised me wealth
...You promised me wealth
And a new Dodge Stealth
...And a new Dodge Stealth
I'll check the mailbox 'til I'm dead
...I'll check the mailbox 'til I'm dead
Quit teasin' me Ed

They say the odds are again' me
But I got my own little scheme
Instead of just one or two, I order All the magazines!
I get Glamour, Cosmo, Redbook, Seventeen, Good Housekeepin', and Popular Mechanics
I even got bored one time and ordered The Joy Of Ceramics!
Now Ed, I can't sing or dance, and I'll never be on Star Search
But if you don't hurry up 'n send my check, I'm gonna start thinkin' you a jerk
Well, not really Ed, doggonnit it's been such a long time
My car's been repo'd, my house note's four month's behind
Ed, I don't mean to complain, and I know you're a busy man
But, could you at least send me one of them early entry prizes
I'm you're biggest fan, I swear!

Quit teasin' me Ed
...Quit teasin' me Ed
My kids need to be fed
...My kids need to be fed
I believed what you said
...I believed what you said
Quit teasin' me Ed

You promised me wealth
...You promised me wealth
And a new Dodge Stealth ...And a new Dodge Stealth
I'll check the mailbox 'til I'm dead
...I'll check the mailbox 'til I'm dead
Quit teasin' me Ed

Cledus T., you may have already won!

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It's important to note that Cledus T. Judd, in live concerts, has not always been or will be faithful to the lyrics of the song Quit Teasin' Me Ed... So it's better to focus on what the song Quit Teasin' Me Ed says on the record.

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