Lyrics of 'The Irishman Who Doesn't Drink' by Brobdingnagian Bards

Now listen all it's hard to think
of an Irishman who doesn't drink
and if you'd thought you'd found one
you would surely wonder why
the drink is good the drink is bad
but drink won't tell you what you've had
so look at me and all be sad
for that Irishman tis I

Me father drank, His father drank,
whose father drank, for his father's sake,
me Family tree could surely tap
a Guinness factory for sure...
Now me uncle was a handsome lad,
He's married more than five men had,
But his ailment wasn't all that bad,
For in drink he's found the cure

Me sister who does love to read,
and loves to drink her favorite mead,
to understate she's well-studied,
In mead a doctorate in.
Me Cousin lives near Tennesseee,
His favorite drink of course JD
But his lawyer could not well agree
that it was his next of Kin

When grandmither was very young,
She'd play at her granddad's for fun,
By riding all the day among,
The horses she did tell.
Now her granddad used to gamble drunk,
He beat a Carny's boat that sunk,
And won some holdings, not all junk.
Cause he kept the Carousel.

I do not drink, I do not smoke,
I don't cavort with women folk,
Well maybe... just a little
I've a liberal view of sin.
Now ladies are my vice tis true
I like to see them through and through
And when I see no more to do...
Well then with drinking I'll begin.