Lyrics of 'Slow Glide to Mellow Freak' by Bob Schneider

It's a slow glide to mellow freak
Sang stumpy as loud as he could
While he pounded away
On a five string he made
Out of old dirty diapers and wood

I'll be a bitch in a minute
You swafty cold fuckers
He screamed at the top of his lungs
Then he peed in his pants while he spat out a dance
And reverted to speaking in tongues

And it's a slow glide to mellow freak
And easier than harder than not
To be given the chance to be all you cant's
And gag on the goodies that you got

It's a slow glide to mellow freak
Sang Betty one day at the store
She thought the bananas
Were rabid pirhannas
And now she don't shop there any more

Now she sits in her house
In a tangle of dishes
And swears that she speaks to the dead
In a language forgotten
And her brain is all rotten
And the worms run a bank in her head

It's a slow glide to mellow freak
They said of old Johnny McNeil
Just a crafty old fucker
Who called himself tucker
Whose wife died one night at the wheel

Now he sits in a lump
In the backyard
His eyes the cold color of snot
He talks to the flowers
For hours and hours
And shits in his pants when he's hot

It's a slow glide to mellow freak
The proof was in Sally McKane
A sensible lady
Who went kind a crazy
And OD'ed on high grade cocaine

She had a sweet tooth for chocolate
She'd eat it for supper they said that she just wouldn't stop
One day she tried coke and I swear its no joke
That she snorted it up till she popped